10 Reasons Why The Aussies Will Dominate i52

Originally posted at: http://www.teamfortress.tv/19660/10-reasons-why-the-aussies-will-dominate-i52

˙spɹɐʇsɐq ǝlqɐʌol 'Wᴉ ɥɐǝʎ ʞɔnℲ ˙puɐlɐlɐoʞ ɹᴉǝɥʇ ʞɔɐq sɹǝpuǝq ɐuɐuɐq ǝɥʇ ǝʌᴉƃ puɐ uǝǝnQ ǝɥʇ ɥʇᴉʍ ǝnlq ɐ ǝʌɐɥ 'ǝɹǝɥ ɹǝʌo ǝɹ,ʎǝɥʇ ǝlᴉɥʍ ǝɔɐlɐԀ ɯɐɥƃuᴉʞɔnq uo uᴉ doʇs oʇ ƃuᴉllᴉʍ puɐ ;ʎɥdoɹʇ-ɹɐʍ uɐᴉlɐɹʇsn∀ lɐᴉɔᴉɟɟo uɐ 'sɐxǝ┴ 'ɐᴉɹoʇɔᴉΛ ʎƃpoq ɹǝɥʇo ʇɐɥʇ ǝʞɐɯ oʇ pǝɹɐdǝɹd ;ǝʞᴉW ɯoɹɟ sǝlɐM ɥʇnoS plO ʞɔɐq ǝʞɐʇ oʇ ʎpɐǝɹ ǝɹɐ soƃuᴉp uǝǝʞ ǝsǝɥ┴ ¡sooɹɐƃuɐʞ ǝɥʇ ɟo ɥɔɹɐɯ pɹɐʍɥʇɹou ǝlqɐɹoxǝuᴉ ǝɥʇ ʎq ʇɹɐdɐ uɹoʇ ʇǝƃ sɯɐǝʇ uɐɔᴉɹǝɯ∀ puɐ uɐǝdoɹnƎ snoᴉɔǝɹd ɹnoʎ sɐ ɥɔʇɐʍ oʇ ʎpɐǝɹ ǝɹ,noʎ ǝdoɥ I ˙,uᴉoƃ ɐʎ ʍoɥ ʇᴉq ɐ ǝɹ,noʎ ƃuᴉʞuᴉɥʇ ʇɐ ƃuᴉʞool ǝɹɐ ǝldoǝd puɐ sᴉɥʇ pɐǝɹ oʇ uʍop ǝpᴉsdn spɐǝɥ ɹnoʎ pǝuɹnʇ ǝʌɐɥ ɯnɔs ʇɔᴉʌuoɔ-uou noʎ ɟo ʇsǝɹ ǝɥʇ llɐ ǝdoɥ ʎllɐǝɹ I ¡∀I˥∀ɹ┴S∩∀ ʎ∀p,פ

Oh goodness me, I do apologise. I've been hanging round these rowdy Australians for too long. I think it's infectious.

First of all, if you haven't checked out the doco by CUBE and BoneS then give it a burl. The Aussies were the wildcards at i49 and impressed everybody there with how competitive they managed to be, especially since they're the only good team in a very small scene. The incredible competition at i49 motivated yuki and the mob to practice hard, beef themselves up and get prepared for the biggest TF2 LAN that the world has ever seen. Are you ready? 'Cause they are frickin' PUMPED!

But it's not just iM that have changed since i49. Epsilon have changed their roster around from the dominating superteam that we saw win the last LAN. The Americans have been over the pond messing about with their crazy unlocks and petty national LANs. They've even had to send two teams this time to make up for their inadequacy.

It isn't just their turn for one of these articles (shoutout to Hildreth). It's their turn to genuinely win the biggest international LAN in TF2 history. And it's not a pipe dream. Here we go with the 10 completely uncontroversial, irrevocable, undeniable reasons why iM will storm i52 and come back with a brace of scalps from these pathetic whingey northern-hemispherians. I'd like to see you stop them.

*bonobo*	*termo*	*yuki*	*aporia*	*sheep*	*snowblind*

1. They won the CyberLeague.EU tournament

Have the Aussies crippled Awsomniac and Reason's chances of putting up a challenge before LAN has even begun?! Surely this victory, on their own turf no less, has shaken the European scene to its core. We've been following the iM scrims since they touched down on Pommie shores and they've been steadily improving, having close games against Epsilon, Awsomniac and Reason. The Euros weren't within cooee of beating iMeither, not even taking a single map off the Aussies in the entire competition.

And here's the kicker. Their internet is cactus, with lagspikes up to 200 ping being a regular occurrence. How does that feel, Euro scrubs?

2. They trimmed the fat from their i49 roster

If any single person was going to be highlighted as having underperformed last LAN, compared to their counterparts on other teams, it would have to be Bulk. The demoman for iM was a brilliant guy, but his DM and play style didn't quite cut the vegemite. With another upgrade in the form of snowblind (Australia's answer to DM-hero clockwork) iM have shredded those last ounces of blubber. They're chiselled surf yobbos ready to ride the wave of success and pick up Aquagirl along the way.

3. Yuki is the best pocket in the world

Think Mike or Zeb have a chance at i52? Pig's arse! yuki showed us at i49 that he can aim, position and move better than any of the pocketing competition - and yes that includes TLR and his little brother, Lansky. His incredible ubers, speedshots, airshots and raw fragging ability made the rest of the soldiers at LAN look like pansies. I have absolutely no doubt he'll turn up again for i52 and put on a master class for the others to learn from.

4. They've been bootcamping for two weeks

iM have got the feel of how these Pommie bastards and their friends play. The Americans certainly haven't been keen enough to come over and bootcamp, and the Euros are showing standard complacency: the assumption that LAN will be the same as scrims online has hurt them before and it might again. iMbootcamped before i49 as well and steadily improved; this time they've raced through their scrims, devouring teams in their path like shrim-...no. I won't. I'll resist. They've simply shat on nerds.

STRAYA, yesterday.

5. The Term0nator is looking incredible

If you're going to replace Bulk, it better be for someone good. This controversial arsehole of a player is a god at demoman - everybody I've been with whilst spectating termo has been suitably impressed. He has nailed and beaten kaidus at his own superfast rollouts, hit sick airpipes on WAR, took a big shiny dump on huhy with a stickytrap and will continue to do the same to duwatna and Platinum.

6. Epsilon are on holiday in Zimbabwe and have lost schocky, GeaR & numlocked (not in Zimbabwe)

The entirety of the best team in Europe are sat on their fat dates waiting for Kiler, basH and tek to come back from holiday. Not only have they forgotten their lesson from the debacle that was i46 (PRACTISE, IDIOTS), they've also lost their three best players to div4, work and LOL respectively. They've had to fill these big shoes with subpar players like Kiler, tek and WARHURYEAH. Not only that, but they seem to have lost the raw aggression that they played with at i49, and I don't know how well their "pocket demo and two roamers" strat will work without Sebastian 'Powerhouse' Barton. They're playing more and more passively, and if any team is looking shaky going into i52, it's these wankers.

7. Jukebox has quit TF2, so sheep is going to molest everybody on sniper

After that dag gave up, there's no hope for lovers of foreheads this LAN (poor Admirable). Everybody who pokes their fat head above a piece of cover is getting it forcibly removed by an Aussie bullet. He might be predictable, but iM are so good at setting themselves up to give sheep space, it often doesn't even matter. Without any good counter-snipers, sheep is going to tear it up on the big stage. Feelings? Look mate, you know who has a lot of feelings?

8. The Americans are so passive it hurts

It's really incredible how different the American scene is to an outsider when you compare now to i46. Two years ago, aggression was the key to mix^ and LG's stomping defeat over the cowering, spamming, defensive Europeans. Now the shoe is on the other foot, with American teams rarely pushing without uber, often stalemating and flinging their roamers into the fray in a desperate attempt to make something useful happen.

This will play perfectly into iM's hand. They're perfectly comfortable playing the American style, sitting back and relying on sheep to decimate their passive opponents who can't hold a candle to his scoped plays. But they're equally comfortable pushing without ubers and relying on their teamwork and focus fire to win pushes. In fact, even if it does come to ubers, I would put my life savings on yuki to out-manoeuvre TLR and Lansky if saloon.tf allowed it.

We're all going to turn up and realise that the Americans are all figjams. Their demomen are about as useful as tits on a bull with b4nny on scout now and let's face it: Mixup will probably end up shit-talking themselves into a boxing match with Coleman and that'll be the end of that.

9. They have the best synergy

No other team in the world has a history of such dominance over their scene. yuki, aporia, sheep and bonobohave been playing and destroying people together for many more years than any other team present at i52. They've honed their focus fire, their ability to read each other and cover weaknesses, and they can pretty much read each other's minds.

10. IT IS FATE, IT IS DESTINY

It's London to a brick that iM will win LAN. Three continents, three LANs, three different winners. And so the intercontinental Insomnia series must continue! To find the REAL winner! It's for this reason mainly that I am supporting iM to win i52. I can feel it in my bones. And besides, if I'm wrong Hildreth still has a 100% perfect prediction for these i-LANs.

So there you have it! 10 indisputable reasons why the Aussies are going to be the ones lifting the oversized cheque and trash-talking us for a year. It'll be hilarious to watch Epsilon, Awsomniac, Reason, Froyotech andMixup flounder in their inadequacies and fight over 2nd place; that mediocre struggle should be one of the closest contests we've ever seen at an intercontinental LAN! I can't call it at all, and I'm incredibly hyped to see those amazing games casted.

But enough of my yabber! Tell me what you think of my genuine opinions in the comments! Evidence is not needed to back up your outrageous views, but posting logs, scrim results, MGE points and wild speculation is thoroughly encouraged. Hooroo!